Today on Facebook, Mothering Magazine asked readers to comment on the worst messes their kids ever made. Now, my kids make messes daily but I knew immediately that the worst one ever had been made–of course–by Jake and Teddy when they were toddlers.
It was right before Christmas and I had been to the grocery store to stock up on the baking supplies necessary to make sugar cookies and 24 loaves of apple cinnamon bread. Daily life goes on, even at Christmastime, and before I could bake I had laundry to do. In our first house, our laundry facilities were in our unfinished basement, down a steep flight of dangerous stairs, so I left my toddlers in the kitchen behind the sturdy gate.
In my absence, Jake and Teddy got into the refrigerator and liberated four sticks of butter from their wrappers, then greased the floor as if preparing to bake cookies on it. Then they cracked all 24 eggs on top of it. Have you ever tried to soak up a couple of raw eggs? Imagine trying to get up two dozen. Yes, it’s funny now. Then, I yelled until I lost my voice.
I thought I couldn’t imagine a worse mess, but other Mothering readers had some pretty bad ones, many of them involving diaper contents or permanent markers, so all in all I think I am thankful Jake and Teddy’s mess only involved foodstuffs.
Memorable Messes
The worst mess my children ever made actually involved my son, Corey, and my nephew, Tyler. Corey was almost 4, and Tyler was 2 1/2. I was very pregnant with Alyssa and Lori was in her first trimester with Taryn.
One of the big tips that something is amiss is the absence of noise. Any seasoned mother will tell you — silence can be the indicator that something bad has either happened or is still in progress.
So, my sister and I, realizing that the boys were suddenly quiet, ran down the hall and to the guest bedroom. We stopped, frozen in our tracks. Everything was white. I mean everything. The boys had gotten a hold of a bunch of baby powder samples and had squeezed the containers, making ‘poofs’ of baby powder. They also generously sprinkled baby powder in their toy box.
You can not even begin to imagine the nooks and crannies baby powder can get into. So, Lori and I cleaned that mess up while our father stood at the door and laughed. I could barely reach anything because of my big pregnant self and Lori was retching the whole time.
The boys are grown men now, but to this day, we STILL find baby powder in weird spots in that bedroom!
I cannot believe you are still finding baby powder! The longest lasting mess we had involved glitter. And it was MY fault. We bought a pinata for Emily’s 5th birthday and along with the candy put in some little decorative foli things and glitter. I don’t know what we were thinking! It was magical as it all fell out–the pictures are lovely too–but the kids all tracked glitter homw to their own houses and we continued to find remainders of it until we moved over five years later!
You are so right about quiet kids and trouble. And also having two boys in cahoots is the worst. Teddy would never have gotten into trouble if it weren’t for trying to emulate Jake. The two of them together were legendary in their escapades. One day I’ll post about that!
The worst mess ever involved a whole package of grape bubblegum, 2 car seats, the entire back seat of the car, 1 raccoon stuffed animal named Meeko, 1 bunny stuffed animal named Fluffy, and twin 4 year olds. Cleanup up of the car involved a chemical requiring the use of a respirator. Cleanup of the children involved the easy cleanup of the instigator who already had a buzz cut and the traumatic all-day cleanup of the long-haired vicitm who refused to get a new haircut because “Mommy I can’t be a mermaid with short hair!” Cleanup of the stuffed animals involved scissors and much cyring on the part of the owners. It is still referred to even today as “the Meeko incident”.