Things I Am Afraid to Tell You

If you are a blogger, or if you follow a lot of blogs, you probably know about this already.  One blogger’s courageous admission that there was more to her than what she shared every day on her blog led to a movement.  The theory is that we can all be brave together so a lot of people post their lists on the same day.  And now I’ve had the opportunity to join in the third wave.  So without further ado, here are some things I am afraid to tell you.
1.  Although I believe in and write about the ideals of attachment parenting, I have smacked my kids on occasion.  Sometimes that represents a failure to be patient or to express anger appropriately, but sometimes I really think a smack on the fanny is what’s needed, even though I understand the theory behind always parenting gently.
2.  What goes on when my family is behind closed doors at times bears little resemblance to the image we are projecting to the world.  There is a lot of yelling.  Also a lot of love.  Since every family I’ve ever known well has its own secrets, I’m assuming yours does as well and you won’t think less of me for this.
3.  I really can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror.  The fact is, I’m fat.  And unlike a lot of people who typically think they are fatter than they really are, I usually forget all about it and start feeling pleased with myself until I see a mirror, or God forbid, a picture.  You won’t find many photographs of me and that is on purpose.
4.  My faith is serious business to me and I firmly believe in the teachings of my Church, even those that are very unpopular in the country and large and those that are widely disregarded by many Catholics.  I am afraid that my “liberal” friends will think less of me for this.  On the flip side, I am afraid that my “conservative” friends will think I am not “Catholic enough” if I tell them that I believe that Church teachings on war and poverty are way more important than those on gay marriage.
5.  I was convinced I would be a perfect mother with perfect kids.  Neither is true.  I fall short every single day.  Sometimes I think I have no idea what I am doing.  Some days I think I have too many kids.  (Although I would not send any back.)
6.  When I read the amazing writing of some of my blogging friends, and hear about their plans and see all their successes, and think of how excited I get about my own (minuscule) page views, I think that it’s some kind of mistake and I really have no right to be hanging around online with these people.
7.  Despite all the self-deprecatory disclosures that precede this final entry, I really am disgustingly conceited about certain aspects of myself.
Whew!  I did it.  Let the chips fall where they may.  Do you want to play too?  You can comment below!
I have excellent friends who agreed to post with me today. Thank you so much to all of them and be sure to go check out what they have to say as well. (Please leave us some comment love, here and there, it helps so much to get support on vulnerable posts like these!)
Jill at Terra Savvy | Erica at The Elbow | Jen at Taking Off the Mask | Kate at Modern Home Modern Baby | Laura at My So Called Sensory Life | Monique at Razing Mayhem | Caroline at Salsa Pie | Leslie at Life In Every Limb | Tammie at Tam.Me | Melanie at Inward Facing Girl | Amy at Old Sweet Song | Michelle at Early Mama | Jen at Jen Epting | Leslie at Lights and Letters| Sarah at SAWK Photography
HISTORY: The very first one by Jess Constable inspired Ez to write her own and invite others to join her on Creature Comforts. Meg at Mimi + Meg started a second round.
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0 thoughts on “Things I Am Afraid to Tell You

  1. Pingback: Things I’m Afraid to Tell You

  2. Pingback: 7 Things I’m Afraid To Tell You

  3. Leslie, you did it! We did it!
    Your honesty is refreshing and I thought you did a great job with your list.
    p.s. Did you know I am Catholic too? Yes I am.
    Love, Caroline

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  7. Way to go Leslie.
    Did you know that I’m not Catholic? And completely respect the way you live your faith. And I agree with nobody knowing what goes on behind a family’s closed doors.

  8. disneygrl38

    Totally agree with the whole mirror thing. I hate looking in one & really get freaked out when we travel & there are these giant walls of mirrors in the bathroom. I don’t think I’m smaller than I am but I know I’m fat & I hate it, but it’s so hard to lose but I am constantly trying.

  9. Pingback: Things I Am Afraid To Tell You : Old Sweet Song

  10. Clisby

    Oh, I don’t mind people going door to door – for church or for Greenpeace. Coming around at 8 a.m. is begging to get the door shut in your face, though.

  11. lesley, good for you!!! i am with you on number 6…maybe we can start our own facebook page!! ha!
    i was too afraid to participate as my life does not mimic my highlight reel.
    as my husband often puts it…i want to live in your blog with that happy family.

    1. Like a FB page for B-list bloggers? LOL! I’m glad I am not the only one who feels that way. Oh, I love what your husband says. He’s right, y’all always look like you are having so much fun. But you did include the vomit story so you were keeping it real!

  12. Barbara

    this may sound silly, but I think this is one of your best!! I love learning you are as human as me ; ) I fail so much I think EVERYONE else must be doing much better than me. And the mirror thing, you had me at hello…I am right there with you girl. Thanks for sharing this.

    1. Thanks, Barbara! As far as comparing ourselves to others, I’ve read several places recently that we are all comparing our worst days to everyone else’s highlight reel. And reading what other bloggers have written in response to this prompt confirms that–almost everyone writes of their insecurities and imagining that everyone else has it together! And I don’t only hate mirrors, but also digital cameras, which let you know RIGHT AWAY how bad you look instead of a few weeks later!

  13. So glad you joined us Leslie! It’s awesome to make statements about who we are and what we hold dear. Attachment parenting can be so hard sometimes, it’s also the type of parenting I am most drawn to, but I have yelled and wanted to lash out at times too. We all over-react sometimes, or let our emotions get away from us, but maybe it’s how we deal with the feelings after that is more important anyway. We can’t always be these perfect zen parents who don’t have triggers and buttons. I’m interested to read your posts about teenagers! I’m so scared of those days. xo

    1. I can’t thank you enough for starting this wave and letting me join in. It is inspirational and freeing. And I think I am making some new freidns too. 🙂 As far as teenagers, I am finding it quite difficult. I’d rather go back to when I had a newborn, a one-year-old (both nursing), and a four-year-old, a time so difficult I literally cannot even remember it. I know some people think babies are hard, but I’ve got that DOWN now. I really don’t think a conscientious person can “mess up” on a baby. Teenagers are another story!

  14. You’re soooo not falling down as a mom! I like what you said about not knowing what goes on behind closed doors because we don’t. Even when we think we do, we don’t. Just so you know, I think every mom has days when she thinks “that’s it!” and the exhaustion, anger, too-much-ness of it all takes over. But seriously, motherhood is hard. It’s the hardest job I’ve ever had. Ever. And I’ve had a lot of hard jobs! Thanks for sharing your entire list today.

    1. Thanks, Kate. 🙂 Learning that other families–in fact I would say all families–are not perfect and have their secrets has been something of a revelation for me, and helps me when I feel envious of people who seem to have it all together. I know that they don’t really, that everyone has problems, and then I don’t make comparisons that make me feel bad about myself or our family. Yes, it’s hard! The stakes are so high!

  15. Leslie, bravo for the brave post! And fwiw, I really love people who don’t look in mirrors too often. The ones who check themselves out as they pass by any reflective surface would do well to chill, themselves. 🙂
    Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  16. Numbers 6 and 7! I can entirely relate to. I love attachment parenting, but it is definitely tough to keep up to ‘code’ with, and I think I go beyond and my children see me as a pushover because of it. It’s so easy to lose balance.
    Thank you for sharing this. 🙂

    1. Thanks for coming by, Monique! I’m glad I’m not the only one who can relate to #7! And I’ve seen a lot of versions of #6 as I’ve made my way around today. Balance and consistency are so important and such difficulte goals to achieve. :-p

  17. Thanks for sharing your personal list! I enjoyed learning about you and admit to being a “yeller” too. It really bothers me at times, and I am SO working on it. It’s just too darn easy to do!
    I also feel I have no business being in the blogging world, but this is where I want to be and I’m going to keep myself here! Do the same! 🙂
    Looking forward to reading more!

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  20. Helga

    Leslie, I just found this today. (I am a little behind) Who am I to judge you or to think less of you because of who you are? Nobody is perfect and it takes a lot of courage to own up to being less than perfect. We all have a picture of ourselves in our head and sometimes, surprisingly, people don’t see us the way we see ourselves. I enjoyed getting to know you a little better and I realized that I have more in common with you than I realized!

  21. Pingback: Things I am afraid to tell you | Pencil Shavings Studio

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  24. Loved reading your blog. I just want to encourage you not to be so hard on yourself.You wouldn’t be that hard on other people would you? Your Heavenly Father loves you regardless of your weight or if the dishes are done. God has made you unique and given you special gifts unique to you. Don’t compare yourself to others. Just give it knowing Jesus can bless others. Bless you.

  25. Authenticity. Something we all try to provide in our posts and yet find ourselves editing out because authentic doesn’t even make the bloopers reel. It makes the “everyone is living this” reel, so it can’t be interesting. Except the way we process and handle the authentic IS interesting. It’s what makes us approachable. It’s what gives us credibility when teaching.
    Awesome way to take off the make-up and let the real beauty shine through!

  26. Good morning!
    I’m dropping in to #TheocentricThursday participants this week and leaving links to who they are supposed to comment on this week to make sure everyone understands how it works. It works best for the host’s record-keeping if everyone clicks the links on the actual blog hop, but when it comes right down to it, we’re more concerned with everyone receiving at least two comments per week! Entrants are only eligible for featured post status if they follow the rules of reading commenting on the two posts they are assigned.
    Your posts this week are:
    Please let me know if you have any questions!
    Carrie Ann Tripp

  27. Thomas Ives

    I can totally relate to some of these. I admire you sharing this and being so honest. Hope you get a lot of support and success from this.

  28. That was awesome how you opened up to us! I really love that because some think it is easy to just sit back and type our pretty little lives but we know the truth and the truth is so hard to share but yet SOO important for those reading and for ourselves! Thank you for sharing this!

  29. Pingback: #TheocentricThursdays Blog Hop Week 8 | Carrie Ann Tripp

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  31. I love your candor. I love your truth. Believe it or not, you are certainly not alone. There are so many of us who have these exact same feelings. Thanks for sharing your truth. That takes balls. Go you!

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