I’ve written this post in my head dozens of times, each one different. It’s an anniversary, and I knew I should–that I wanted to, NEEDED to–commemorate it in some way. But should I talk about what I’ve learned? The good things it brought about? Just start off with “one year ago today”? Reassure everyone (and myself) that everything is okay now? Shoot for inspiring, or tragic?
Maybe my confusion stems from the fact that I haven’t fully processed it yet. That there are days when I think–or even say–“I just can’t believe that happened to us.” Not out of self-pity, but in honest disbelief because it seems unreal at times–almost magical. Everything changed–everything GONE–in a few minutes’ time. Maybe I haven’t been “standing outside the fire” long enough to know exactly what it all means–and maybe it’s going to take more than one anniversary post to sort it all out.
So let’s start with this: one year ago today, I woke up in Baltimore, fully expecting that the next day, after the funeral, I would be returning here:
But that’s what happened.