Most of the time five kids doesn’t seem like a lot to me, it just seems normal. I can blithely respond to that ubiquitous comment, “I don’t know how you do it!” with “Oh, after three it’s not any harder, just louder,” and mostly mean it.
But there are times when I just want to turn to John and say, “We have too many kids.” Not that we’d send any of them back . . . (well, only sometimes!). I don’t know if it will make me feel better or worse to reel off the reasons I am feeling that way right now, but at least I will get some sympathy–right?
1) John is currently en route to pick up Emily for her Spring Break. She will be home all this week, and so will William. However, Lorelei’s break is next week, when William will be back in school. So no vacation OR staycation for me.
2) Easter is one week away. That means five baskets full of candy, and bunnies, and maybe some new clothes, and sweet rolls, and lots of church this week, and Easter dinner, and lots and lots of money (and did I mention my car is in the shop and will cost over $1000 to ransom?).
3) On Easter Monday, the ONE DAY when all the kids have off, guess who gets to drive Emily halfway back to Mobile? I bet you’ll guess it in one.
4) That same week Teddy is going on his first road trip to Florida with his friends. (Good news–he saved money for this so that at least is taken care of!) During the week he is gone I expect all his college letters to arrive, so it could be a good week, a bad week, or a mixture.
6) April 21 is Lorelei’s First Communion. (I’ve got the dress, thank God, but not the veil and the gloves she insists on. Or a present for her. And I’ve got to plan some celebration afterwards and make sure people are invited.)
7) April 26 is Prom Night. Jake and Teddy are both supposedly attending proms (in two different locations). Tuxedos have to be ordered. Rides have to be arranged. And MORE MONEY.
8) April 27 is my birthday. Somehow I doubt I will get to spend the weekend away alone, which is what I like to do.
9) May 4 Emily graduates from college. IN ALABAMA. We need hotel reservations. We need to buy her a present. We need to figure out the logistics of having John’s mother get there from Baltimore. We will have to take two cars, and we will be bringing her and all her stuff back to Knoxville for the coming year. Did I mention we need more money?
10) May 18 Teddy graduates from high school. Another celebration will need to be planned!
11) At the end of May we are all supposed to go to Washington for John’s 25th college reunion and to Baltimore for a visit. Granted we would be doing this regardless of the number of children we have but supposing they all go it now requires two cars and three hotel rooms and needless to say MORE MONEY which we therefore somehow have to continue to earn throughout this two month period of craziness because we are self-employed. And don’t get paid to go on vacations.
Now I realize that except for the taxes these are all joyful celebrations for which I should be grateful, and of course I am. And a wonderful things about having lots of children is that there are so many more celebrations.
But why can’t they be spread out just a little? 🙂