Linking up again this week with Mama Knows, Honeychile to tell you my latest five favorite things.
A while back I decided that I needed to spend some time just on me, doing things that I wanted or needed to do or simply enjoyed doing. You know how it is, all wrapped up in the kids and the house and your job, and being the one who is in charge of ALL THE THINGS, right? You know who usually gets left out while everyone else’s needs are being met? If you are a mother, of course you do. Anyway, I was feeling unhappy and taken advantage of (not that anyone had ever said I couldn’t do these things). I needed to give myself permission to take care of ME. And today I will share with you my five favorite things to do for myself.
1. Going out for the evening all by myself
I have actually been doing a version of this off and on since my big kids were little kids. For years and years, Monday nights were my night. John and the kids would go have an adventure, and I would head out to do my own thing. What “my own thing” was has varied over the years–working out at the Y, doing research on our old house in the McClung Collection, writing X-Files fan fiction at the Golden Roast–but what was always the same was that I got to be alone, something that has become more and more vital to me over the years. At some point, though, this quit being a regular thing. I’m not sure when or why. Once a month or so I would say to John, “I really need to go out by myself–what night this week is good?” and I’d go, but it wasn’t weekly or predictable any more. As of a couple of weeks ago, I have changed that. Having a regular day doesn’t work any more, but I am taking one night, whichever night, for myself. I go down the road to Panera Bread, have dinner, do house business, and then use the remaining time to write.
2. Taking long baths
That’s a spa tub right there, folks–with Lorelei for illustrative purposes since I’m not going to put myself up there! This was an unexpected delight when we found this house, since I’d been missing my claw footed tub from the Victorian house. In the winter, I spend hours in here, reading and even taking a nice nap. I do this right in the middle of the work day, and I’m not apologizing for it either!
3. Taking Saturdays for myself
Saturdays have been a problem for me for years. Maybe you feel the same way? If you are a churchgoer, it’s the only truly free day of the week. Should you sleep late? Or get up early so as not to waste it? Should you run errands and accomplish things? Or take your family out to do something fun? So many expectations to put on one 24-hour time period.
Added to all that, there’s the problem that what John likes to do on Saturdays is sleep. A lot. And he really needs that catch-up sleep in order to function the way he does for the rest of the week. But even though I enjoy sleeping later on Saturdays, there are limits. And sitting around twiddling my thumbs waiting and waiting for him to get up to do something with me has always been a source of stress.
So several months ago I got up one Saturday and decided to quit waiting and do what I wanted to do. What I wanted to do on that particular Saturday was to go take a look at a couple of cemeteries I was always driving by and never had time to explore. After that I started my current Saturday routine: sleeping till a decent hour (ten, usually), going on one of my long walks in the Urban Wilderness with Emily, and then hitting another graveyard if I have time.
4. Having a beauty routine
That sounds a little goofy (especially for someone who rarely uses make up!), but what I mean is that I have an array of nice lotions and creams and I anoint myself with them morning and night. This, too, is something I used to do years ago and then got away from. It’s easy when you are in a hurry or tired to skip doing this, but I make myself do it every time. I don’t know whether it makes a physical difference, but it feels good to take care of myself.
5. Singing in the choir
People have been telling me for years that I should sing in the choir. I DID sing in the choir in college, and I love love love to sing, as anyone in my family can attest. But I always had little kids in the pew who needed me more than the choir did.
But most of those kids are big now, and even the littler ones can behave properly in Mass without me. Plus our new choir only sings once a month and practices twice, so the
commitment is not huge. Singing makes me happy, as does finding a new way to contribute to my church community after several years of being somewhat . . . dormant . . . compared to earlier years.
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Leslie, I love your words and the way you magically weave them. You bring me joy and peace in this crazy world.
That is SO kind. Thank you. 🙂
I loved this column! I think every Mother should read it! Your thoughts and insights are great!
Leslie, I love reading your thoughts. You have such wisdom.
Thank you so much for your kind words. 🙂
Leslie!!! Would you PUH-LEASE share this on #TheocentricThursdays Blog Hop????? We are missing this voice in our group!!!!
I’m dropping in from Blog Meets Blog, but I totally want to borrow you for another group. 😉
I don’t mind being borrowed. 😉 I will go enter it there.
This is beautiful Leslie! Such a great thing, to have things for yourself. The blog has become such a fun hobby just for me, when we were traveling, all four of us, I was missing having that time to do my thing. It’s always a balance!
Thanks, April! So that’s why I haven’t seen any posts from you recently!
Long baths are the best! Me time is always good time!
Looking forward to taking one later this evening . . .
An evening by myself?! What is that? Haha! These things all sound lovely!
That’s a sure sign you need one!
Beautiful post!
Thank you! 🙂
Thanks for sharing! Taking time out for yourself is so important. I know that it keeps me in a positive mood.
It makes me sad that so many women don’t do this.
This is beautiful. I think self care and making time for ourselves is something we don’t do often enough. These are great ideas of some things we can do just for ourselves. I especially like the idea of having one night to myself! That would be glorious!
When I saw “Singing in the Choir,” I just had to smile. That used to be one of my favorite things as well. I don’t get to do it much right now with all of my littles, but maybe someday. 🙂
The sad thing is that since I wrote this last summer I have stopped singing in the choir for the time being. Having to be away from home on a school night when I am the only one who can help #4 with his homework was too stressful.
Good evening, Leslie!
Thank you so much for linking up with us! We’re so pleased you joined us this week.
You have probably already completed this, but I was out yesterday and am playing catch-up. I’m dropping in to #TheocentricThursday participants this week and leaving links to who they are supposed to comment on this week to make sure everyone understands how it works. It works best for the hosts record-keeping if everyone clicks the links on the actual blog hop, but when it comes right down to it, we’re more concerned with everyone receiving at least two comments per week!
The two posts you should have left comments on are:
#23 http://www.inlinkz.com/displayurl.php?id=23948387
and
#24 http://www.inlinkz.com/displayurl.php?id=23955054
You are not limited to those two! Some participants manage to make it through all of them each week. However, those are the two expecting your comments and your first step to eligibility for this week’s Featured Post spot! Please let me know if you have any questions!
Blessings,
Carrie Ann Tripp
I think it’s a great idea for bloghops to have rules like this to prevent linkdropping. I always try to read and comment on some of the posts, but I appreciate these clear guidelines. I have not read my two yet because I was busy yesterday, but don’t worry, I have the linkup open in my browser and I am going through my morning blog-reading obligations right now! Have a great Saturday!
Leslie,
I agree! I participate in several blog hops as time allows. I most appreciate the ones where everyone benefits. The only way everyone benefits is if there is some organization. I realize that everyone isn’t going to follow them, but sometimes people just honestly don’t read everything.
I want to build a true community with connections and friendships. I believe that is possible and needed. I also believe that if everyone feels needed and important that simply happens. So, I’m trying to foster that. Probably very sloppily, but I’m trying. 😀
Thanks for adding your link! I really appreciate it!
I think you are doing a great job and I thank you again for the invitation to participate!
We have a few favorite things in common! I love long baths and singing in my church choir. Making a joyful noise always relaxes me!
🙂 I sing a lot. I think it sometimes annoys my family when I burst into song for no reason.
I like set days for personal time too. I can´t wait for Monday when the kids go back to school. I have so much writing to catch up to!
It helps to have that time to look forward to, for sure!
Nice to know I am not the only one who likes to visit random cemeteries.
I keep finding out that more and more people do this!