Like most people, I routinely share pictures I consider to be cute or profound on my Facebook wall. Sometimes I’m surprised by the lack of attention paid to something I found particularly noteworthy; other times one picture gets more likes than I expected. And who knows how much any of this has to do with the value of the pictures themselves versus those mysterious and ever-changing Facebook algorithms?
Still, the picture above resonated with more people than the usual random post. I shared it almost off-handedly–I can’t even remember whose wall I found it on–and it had been shared so many times before it got to me that I can’t find an original creator to credit it to.
I related to this picture because it conveys a powerful message about what love IS and what it ISN’T. Love is ACTION, not FEELING.
Those romantic and mushy feelings we all enjoy at the beginning of a relationship are wonderful. And I promise you that after 25 years I still have those feelings for my husband. But not all the time.
The strength of your love for someone shows in how you care for them when you are not feeling mushy or romantic AT ALL. When I’m feeling angry and resentful towards my husband and yet I still get his medicines together for him in the morning (and don’t add arsenic), that’s love. When I wash the clothes he needs in the morning which he put in the hamper at bedtime, that’s love. When I go outside in the rain to roll up the windows of his car, even though we just had a fight, that’s love.
If you have been married any length of time, you know these things. If you haven’t gotten married yet, you had better learn them now. Romance can only take you so far. Flowers and candlelight are great and I still like them, but having the capacity and the will to ACT loving when you just aren’t feeling it is what will enable a relationship to endure.
More Than a Feeling
Yes…I love that meme. It is so very, very, very true. Love is very much an action…and there have been many times I’ve made my husband’s lunch (without arsenic. LOL) even when I was angry because that is what you do.
Glad I’m not the only one who has felt that way! Thanks for commenting.
I actually shared this on my wall and had a whole conversation about it. I’ve also been married for a LONG time (24 YEARS) so I know exactly what you mean. I love my husband all the time but there are still times when I would loke to kill him!
I guess we are all doing something right at least!
The photo is so darn cute. It’s definitely a true statement 🙂
Anyone who’s married has to accept this!
Yeah I think it’s probably one of the truest images of married love that I’ve seen. GREAT share 🙂
This is cute and soooo true! Very true of all married couples 🙂
Thanks, Agy!
Indeed! Love the comment, and I don’t add arsenic. Ha Yes, yes been married for 26 years….been together for 31…. I know those feelings you speak of! 😏 And yet at the end of the day I always tell him, I love you. It seems most of us who are willing to accept the bad times in exchange for lasting love, can relate. Thanx for sharing
Exactly! I was totally not feeling the love about a day after I wrote this! But now it’s better again. 🙂
So very true!! I get angry with my husband and my children. My husband gets that it doesn’t mean I don’t love him, I’m just pissed as all heck at him at that moment. But with my kids, I make sure to tell them no matter what, I always love them even if I’m not happy with them at the moment.
Yes, and the capacity of children to forgive us for our bad moments is pretty amazing too!
I love this. I always tell my husband that I love him even when I don’t like him 😉 I think this describes our love http://www.motherhoodthetruth.com/last-bite-love-story/
I’ve said that too! And your post is sweet. It IS the little things.
Timely post, because I was just explaining this concept to my 5 yr. old. Sometimes it’s easier to practice with the children rather than the spouse, but so vital on both fronts!
Definitely easier with kids. We don’t have to choose to love our kids, but with a spouse, it’s a deliberate choice. Thanks for commenting!
One of the wonderful things about marriage is even if you are mad at each other you can put it to the side when there is a crises. You can depend on the fact that there is always someone on your side. Love the meme.
I agree. It is a very safe feeling. Thanks for commenting!
I love this image, too. It’s so true. Relationships can need work, and in doing so we remember that we still love one another even when we’re cranky. I teach my daughter that constantly. A reminder so she knows that even when I’m not happy with something she did that I always love her. <3
It helps you WANT to work on things, when you know the love is there. Thanks for commenting!
Oh how funny – the sentiment here is similar to what’s in my post today (and many I’ve written before). Very true that love is an action, not a feeling; it’s a verb, not simply a noun. And the photo is adorable. My Hub and I have a little thing we do when we’re upset with one another – we say “I love you, dammit.” It goes back to a card one of us bought at some point, but the purpose it serves is to remind us that even when things aren’t going as smoothly, we still love each other always.
Love it!! Rituals like that–even fighting rituals–are good to have! Sometimes when my husband is being irritated at me he will suddenly say something ridiculous and we will just start to laugh.
Loved this post! I’m always interested in other people’s thoughts and experiences with parenting. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Cristi!
This is great, and one of the first things you learn after getting married. After 18 years together, Hubby and I have shown each other countless times that we love each even when angry.
Thanks, Jen! If you don’t learn this early in marriage, you probably won’t last 18 years!
Awesome pin! Thanks for playing the Pinterest Game and all the best winning! Charissa
1. I have TOTALLY felt like that couple in the picture – and, then I feel guilty because my husband is the one “acting” on his love while I am being silly.
2. Thank you for this beautiful reminder, as I fretted over having nothing special planned for today!
A great comic to show a powerful underlying truth, ha ha!