Violence in Baltimore

by Leslie Sholly | Apr 28, 2015 | Parenting | 16 comments

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Am I the only person in America who is having a little problem with this?

Please understand, I am NOT bashing this mother. I am sure she loves her son and was concerned for his safety and his future. I’m not accusing her of abuse, or saying that her parenting caused her son to be a rioter, or advocating that he be removed from her care.
I am thankful every day that there are no video cameras recording my parenting. I have slapped my kids. I have screamed at them. I have said mean things to them. Sometimes these tactics were effective at stopping whatever misbehavior motivated them–temporarily. I doubt they produced lasting change, or if they did it wasn’t for the right reasons.
But seriously, am I the ONLY ONE (I think I might be, judging from every comment I’ve read on this video) who sees the irony in applauding an angry and violent outburst against a child who just engaged in an angry and violent outburst? Aren’t riots themselves proof that violence begets more violence? If we want justifiably angry people to channel their anger into peaceful solutions, isn’t that the behavior we should be modeling?

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16 Comments

My Forever And A Day on April 28, 2015 at 1:56 pm

No, you are not alone in your assessment. I too saw this video and thought the same things. Was I happy that she was out there to collect her son, yes, was I happy that she was trying to stop him from rioting, yes. I was not happy though that the response was one of violence, and I too thought it only magnified how these actions are being fostered in response to outrage.
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- lesliesholly on April 28, 2015 at 1:57 pm
  
  I am so relieved. I was starting to think I was crazy.
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amycake76 on April 28, 2015 at 2:34 pm

Thank you. That’s exactly what I thought when I first saw it.
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- lesliesholly on April 28, 2015 at 2:36 pm
  
  So glad you agree!
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Agy on April 28, 2015 at 9:43 pm

I was thinking the same thing, Leslie. I’m not trying to justify what she did but from her point of view, I think she was ashamed that her son was doing what he was, and she felt that she had to do something immediately. So, on the spur of the moment, she did what she did.
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LC on April 29, 2015 at 6:59 am

Well said. And then there is the humiliation. If I saw my son rioting on TV, I”m not sure how I would go about stopping him, but I can’t imagine that violence and humiliation are going to help long term.
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jenn hecker on April 30, 2015 at 10:00 am

agree with all of you. I think from at least the people I have talked to about this, that we were more supportive of seeing a parent step in and deal with her child. Too many parents these days want to be friends instead of parents and have no clue what is going on in their children’s lives. Did she go overboard, maybe, but as stated above who knows how we would react. We want to say calm and cool but in the heat of the moment, who knows.
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plutoniumsox on April 30, 2015 at 7:36 pm

The whole thing is so sad, why can’t we all just live in peace? Our lives are too short to be violent and abusive to one another – to anyone.x
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sizzlesue15 on May 1, 2015 at 1:45 am

Unfortunately we live in a very violent and impatient world. We have just had the execution in Bali of two Australians which has left us all wondering where is compassion in this world.
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sizzlesue15 on May 1, 2015 at 1:45 am

#FridaysBlogBoosterParty
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Kathleen on May 1, 2015 at 2:39 am

This is a very hard one Leslie. I so agree with you that violence results in more violence.
I think what would I do If I saw my son taking part in a violent riot where people were getting hurt? I don’t think he would respond to my nicely asking him to come home, the emotions would have been very high.
I think she was brave just to have gone into a riot and risk her own well being to get her son out. She probably saved him and herself from a lot more pain if he had hurt someone or been arrested.
A TV commentator mad the observation that the boy did not turn and abuse his mother and that he did go home with her.
I don’t think she will make mom of the year, but where were all the other parents?
You have bought a very good post to Fridays Blog Booster Party with a lot of depth and meaning and stimulating very good discussion. Well done Leslie. I love open discussion, where people can state their view without feeling threatened or offended.
Kathleen
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Debbie Rodrigues on May 1, 2015 at 6:03 am

I go with Kathleen on this one. She cleared did not mean to do that and she surely did not do it for the camera. She was a mother in total desperation, fearing for the safety of her. She did not think about the humiliation because she never meant it to be like this. Desperate situations require desperate attitudes.
Fact is that some years ago in Brazil they did a research with prisoners and many attested that they wished their parents had done something when they started “going wrong”.
Last year, also in Brazil (my home country), a father did exactly the same when his son was involved in a riot.
Do I mean I think these parents were right? Not really, but even though I do not have children my own, I understand their motives and truly hope that their children will too.
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thelemondaisy on May 1, 2015 at 9:31 am

She did what she felt she had to do.
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Kathleen on May 5, 2015 at 8:24 am

Leslie, I wanted to let you know that this post was in the TOP TWO most clicked and will be featured on Friday. Well done
Kathleen
Fridays Blog Booster Party
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- lesliesholly on May 5, 2015 at 8:42 am
  
  OH, thank you SO MUCH! I appreciate your support and I will be excited to see Friday’s post.
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Kathleen on May 6, 2015 at 6:54 pm

PS This is the link to the page where you can pick up your badge of honor. http://60-thenew40.com/friday-blog-booster-party-helps/
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