Today I’m sharing a guest post by Kelly Balarie. More details on Kelly and her new book are at the end of the post.
When I thought about fighting as a child, it was normally with my siblings. I’d sink my nails into them, they’d shriek. I’d see an injustice, like them taking my pile of Legos, and I’d tackle them. I was the oldest, so I could always win. I liked it that way.
Yet, somewhere along the lines, I think I’ve lost my power. I like the winning position; I’m strong there. Yet, now, I feel like people, life, and situations are acting on me, more than I’m acting on them. For a girl who harnesses the idea of being in control, this makes me feel–well, out of control. I deeply dislike that.
Do you feel out of control? Do you feel all alone, fighting for a life that you can’t seem to wrangle to order?
I know the ache. I feel the helplessness. I relate to the struggle.
Certainly, I am well aware of the fact I’m not supposed to be running my life. Certainly, I know that Jesus rules. Certainly, I know that he is the one who holds power, even when I mistakenly think I do. The Bible is clear on this.
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Prov. 19:21
I know I am out of control, but my mind still tells me I’m in control.
Where does a woman go when she is stuck in this place?
Just yesterday, I was frustrated at myself for over-managing my children, yet again. I’d spoken too sternly, punished too heavily and disconnected my heart immensely. The drive home from school-drop off was painful. “I’ve just got to let go of control,” I thought to myself.
My car stopped. A bus had put out its “stop” sign. Into the bus went the children. It wasn’t the children my eye was drawn to, however, it was the parents. There they stood, arms waving, madly. Kisses blowing, in rapid succession. Bodies running after the bus as it took off. Sadness, filling their face as their little pieces of joy took off.
I realized something: God wants me to know He is with me on my journey.
He doesn’t just tell me to do and abandon me. He doesn’t kick me out the door to hustle, alone in the cold, to His purposes. He runs up, alongside me. He cheers me on as I go–with Him. He delights in the journey of us going together. He wishes me well. Like a good daddy, He has good plans for me.
He meets me and moves with me–He runs alongside me. He even goes before me.
The fight with control is not about battling it to the ground; it is knowing that God covers my future ground with me. It is realizing that as I give up my ways, He presents His. I’m not left for ruin. I’m not left alone. I’m not left behind.
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deut. 31:8
About the book, Fear Fighting, Awakening the Courage to Overcome Your Fears:
Author and Speaker Kelly Balarie didn’t always fight fear – for a large part of her life, she was controlled by it. Yet, in her book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears, with God, Kelly charts a new course. Join Kelly, on the journey to go and grow with Christ’s bravery, the Spirit’s counsel and God’s unending love that squelches fear. This book reads like a love letter from God, while offering practical heart-calming prayers, anxiety-reducing tips, and courage-building decrees that will transform your day.
About Kelly Balarie:
Kelly is both a Cheerleader of Faith and a Fighter of Fear. She leans on the power of God, rests on the shoulder of Christ, and discovers how to glow in the dark places of life. Get all Kelly’s blog posts by email or visit her on her blog, Purposeful Faith. You can also find a variety of resources for your fight against fear at http://www.fearfightingbook.com/.