When to Say Yes and When to Say No: Respecting Your Spiritual Gifts

Several years ago my parish decided to bring the Called and Gifted workshop to our parish to help our members discern their spiritual gifts and to encourage them to use them in parish ministries.  As a member of the organizing committee, I traveled to a neighboring state to experience the program myself.  I also received training in facilitating the follow-up interviews and small group sessions that followed our parish’s workshop.  I became and remain an enthusiastic believer in the existence and importance of spiritual gifts.

And yet when I was asked to take on a church ministry that did not align with my gifts, I said yes.

Being on the church hospitality ministry (read serving doughnuts once a month after the Mass we attend) did not seem like a big deal, and I was flattered (let’s face it) to be asked.  But within just a few days after accepting I had second thoughts.

It may sound ridiculous, but I don’t have the right charism mix for serving doughnuts.  I realized this almost immediately and told my husband I wanted to quit.

But he thought it would be wrong to back out.  He said he would take over the job if I did not want it.

You know what? John does not have the right charism mix either.  He carried on miserably for some time before he finally gave up the job.

If someone had asked me to organize and run the doughnut ministry, I would have rocked that.  I have the charism of Administration.

If someone had asked John to recruit hospitality ministers, he would have rocked that.  He has the charism of Leadership.

Every ministry in a parish is important.  Every baptized Catholic is gifted in some way for ministry.  Every parishioner should be offering time and talent in service to the Church.  But heed this PSA:  There is nothing wrong with saying NO if you are asked to participate in a ministry that does not align with your God-given gifts.

If you are not sure what your spiritual gifts are, here is one online test that is similar to the one used in the Called and Gifted workshop.